When Culture Gets It Wrong

Ever notice how the world seems confused about love and commitment?
We celebrate weddings with big fanfare, but years later, many couples feel like something’s missing. Some even wonder if marriage is outdated, or if it's just another tradition that doesn’t fit modern life. But God’s design for marriage isn’t about restriction; it’s about freedom. It’s a picture of love that gives, not just gets.  It's a reflection of His own relationship with us.

When Culture Gets It Wrong
Today’s messages about marriage are all over the place. Some say it’s unnecessary. Others say it’s just about being happy. Influencers preach independence, self-fulfillment, and “finding your soulmate,” as if the goal is to chase our own version of happiness. But that’s not how God designed it. Scripture reminds us that marriage is a gift meant to draw us closer.  Closer to Him and to each other. Studies even show that couples in healthy, long-term marriages report higher happiness and stability than any other relationship model. Marriage isn’t obsolete. It’s sacred, practical, and surprisingly good for us.

The Myths We Believe
There are a few big myths our culture pushes about marriage:

Myth 1: Marriage doesn’t matter.
Truth: Marriage provides stability, connection, and joy that surface-level relationships can’t replicate.

Myth 2: All you need is love and money.
Truth: Love and financial comfort can’t replace faith, commitment, and shared purpose.

Myth 3: You just need to find your soulmate.
Truth: Marriage isn’t about finding someone who completes you—it’s about learning to love someone selflessly. Happiness isn’t discovered; it’s built through grace and growth.

God’s design flips these ideas upside down. The goal isn’t to find someone who checks all the boxes. It’s to become someone who chooses love, service, and sacrifice...daily.

A Different Kind of Strength
In Ephesians 5, Paul says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
That verse often gets misunderstood. It doesn’t mean one person controls the other—it means both people willingly put each other first.
Picture two people at a doorway insisting on opening the door for each other. That’s the kind of mutual submission Paul describes is a back-and-forth of humility and honor that says, “I’ll serve you first.” Husbands are called to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” That’s not domination—it’s devotion. Jesus didn’t demand power; He demonstrated love. He washed His disciples’ feet. He gave His life. That’s the model for marriage: self-sacrificing love.

When 50/50 Doesn’t Work
We often say marriage is 50/50, but real life isn’t that neat. Some seasons are 80/20, when one person is struggling and the other carries more weight. Sometimes those roles reverse. Grace fills the gap. Marriage isn’t a contract of fairness, but a covenant of faithfulness. It’s saying, “Even when you can’t give your all, I’ll still choose to show up.” And that’s the beauty of it: it mirrors the way Jesus loves us. He gives 100%, even when we give nothing in return.

A Living Picture of Grace
Marriage, at its best, becomes a living example of God’s love for His people. It’s where patience is learned, forgiveness is practiced, and grace is multiplied. It’s not always easy—but it’s worth it. Whether you’re single, married, widowed, or preparing for marriage, you’re part of this bigger story. Godly marriages strengthen families, churches, and communities. They remind the world what love rooted in grace really looks like. If you’re married, pray together this week. If you’re single, pray for the marriages around you. Let’s build a culture where love looks less like transaction and more like transformation.
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Because we really are better together.

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